Sunday, January 11, 2009

Mind Over Meningioma

This entry is in response to KiwiGirl's query about any healthful changes I've implented in my life since meningioma excavation as I like to refer to it. Naturally one would think I'd jump right back to my normal routine after brain surgery. Of course that's easier said than done.

Ironically I was in the best shape of my life prior to my tumor finally being discovered. I worked out, ate relatively healthy, got enough sleep...And who would have predicted that three months into my recovery I'd spring a CSF(cerebrospinal fluid) leak and require emergency brain surgery? Then there's my pregnancy (despite being told I couldn't conceive naturally) another five months later. Baby #2 followed by hypothyrodism diagnosis and what little energy I did have, I reserved for naps and napping. I think you know where I'm going with this.

My husband, a retired althete, reminded me how energized I felt after we used to work out together. But hun, I'd plead, how can I work out when I don't have the energy to in the first place?!

Not even turning 40 motivated me to step back into a gym. I guess you could say I was still haunted by the memories of walking the treadmill and lifting weights while unbeknownst to me, I was harboring a massive meningioma brain tumor. Yes, I could justify I was getting plenty of exercise chasing after two kids.

So what did it finally take?

The day before my 41st birthday I took a personal inventory of my physical health. I was tired of being tired--one of the permanent residual deficits from brain surgery as well as the medications I'll remain on for the rest of my life. The anti-seizure medication I take daily also compromises bone health so wasn't that a compelling enough reason on its own? Hello, osteoporosis. I was eight years out, what was my excuse?

Excuse no more.

The morning of my birthday I took a walk. Was I winded! I took another, followed by another... I'm proud to say that while I've never been one of those daily exercise junkies, I've stuck to a plan of improving my health for five months now. But's not just about breaking a sweat and firming up my floppy muffin top. What's worked best for me is the following simple plan:

Anyone can find 30 minutes in his or her day. Think about how much time you can spend mindlessly surfing the internet. Those minutes quickly add up! Pen it in like you do your TO DO LIST. Grocery shopping, pay bills, fire up your heart...

I've never been one to diet and am thankful for great genes, but I know that I can't eat my favorite food group--cheese--six meals a day! Instead, what I've done is swap out chips for almonds or walnuts. What a boost in the afternoon when that proverbial slump hits. I also don't believe in restricting favorite foods. In fact, two of my eating goals for 2009 are to eat dark chocolate every day and enjoy a glass of red wine (which for some uncanny reason is the only elixir that eases the daily facial pain I live with. More on that in another post!) with dinner. So far, so good.

The most important change I've implemented since kicking-meningioma-to-the curb is simple even though it took me years to accept and fully embrace:

I've learned to tune into my body and accept my newly defined limits as frustrating (not feeling up to walking my kids to the park, which is heartbreaking) as it is.

Those who know and understand me accept that when I make plans for any future date they are always followed by the caveat of SUBJECT TO BEING CANCELLED. And many a last minute cancellations I've made.

I nap nearly every day and research has proven that even a 12 minute nap can reset your sagging productivity levels.

Speaking of sleep, I require at least 8-9 hours to function the next day. And timing matters for some inexplicible reason. For example, nine hours from 10:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. is more restorative than say sleep from midnight to 9 a.m. Just another one of those post-surgery quirks I guess! I used to have the stamina to pull all nighters, but it is no longer to be. Thankfully I finished college before I was even aware of my unwelcome upstairs roommate.

Finally, what works better than any ellipitical session or decadent chocolate is unplugging my mind. Losing myself in a foreign film, visiting my favorite beach during a visit home, hiking a new trail...all on my own.

Mind over Meningioma.

Thank you for this thought provoking quest for healing. Would love to hear what works for you!

1 comment:

  1. I am trying to get back into the vigorous exercise routine I once had pre-meningioma days. I was the most confident, bold, strong Alpha female before this meningioma. Now I am a mere shell of woman. I have to get my confidence back and lose this anxiety. I am missing my bone flap so I dont like the feeling I get when exercising. I have to get used to the pressure coming through the hole in my skull and pushing my scalp out. It is an awful terrible reality. But I still have a lot to learn post-meningioma. Like you said, it took you 10 years to learn your new limits.

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